Forgiving and forgetting….Is it hard?



Forgiving she had learnt, but forgetting was a kind of an unachievable task for Raina…


“I am a human being and a Scorpio (I’ve heard …they forgive but never forget)!”

“If someone (excluding my loved ones…indeed) has hurt me I have the right to mull over it…”

Whenever she tried to convince herself she failed, and supported that why should she forget that someone has/had hurt her?

One day she came across Dr. Maya Angelou’s interview about her best pieces of advice, and forgive_and_forget_by_fyi_sus-d3dadcithere she found the answer to her question.

“If you forgive somebody it means you’re finished with that person….

You can’t say them ‘go away’, but you need to protect yourself, so forgive them”.

For her own well being and inner bonding she is trying her best…

Her work is in progress, it may take some time, but she’s sure of its success.


A pinch of Pollyannaism-



No complaints, no explanations, no connection and no hatred…… I believe, is forgiving and forgetting…

What’s your opinion?


This post is written for:

 Blogging from A-Z Challenge (April 2014)

&  Ultimate Blog Challenge (April 2014)

Picture Courtesy: Google Images



24 Comments Add yours

  1. I completely agree…you have to forgive, forget and move on. You need to do that for yourself if nothing else…

    1. shellymona says:

      Exactly….for ourselves only!
      thanks Aditi

  2. Carol Graham says:

    I recently wrote a blog post on this subject. When I wrote my memoir, many of the reviews commented that they could not believe that I was able to forgive those that abused me. Forgiving is a choice and when you don’t forgive you only hurt yourself. Forgetting is difficult and personally, I do not believe it is necessary. You really cannot forget something that happened to you but you certainly do not need to dwell on it or allow it to ruin your life. My post is at

    1. shellymona says:

      I completely agree…forgetting is much tougher than forgiving, but keeping it alive is like leaving the door open for them to visit our mind and heart any time…
      Will surely read your post on the same subject

  3. A writer says:

    A very good post!everybody needs to read this.Forgive and forget……………but not forget what it taught you, is best for your well being..How true!

    1. shellymona says:

      I’m glad for that…..
      Thanks a lot!

  4. nabanita says:

    I find it so hard to forgive and forget …But when I forgive I find that the scar still remains and it’s hurtful till…Forgetting I just can’t do but Forgive whenever I did it , the person ended up hurting me more

    Random Thoughts Naba

    1. shellymona says:

      I completely agree that forgetting is the toughest job…..but our heart says ‘forgiving does good for them and forgetting for us’
      Loved your honest comment

  5. I don’t completely follow it. I wish though every time someone hurts me I can forgive and forget 😀

    1. shellymona says:

      Some people with easy going personalities are lucky enough to take things in stride…..
      Thanks Sfurti

  6. Eli says:

    I so agree – learn from it and then move on! It can be hard sometimes… but forgive, forget and get on with life.. Life is too short to be anything but happy, and lurking over the past can be destructive.. Nice post today:-)

    1. shellymona says:

      While going through this topic I’ve started feeling ….when we forgive we are free, but when we forget we are happy….isn’t it?

      Thanks a lot

  7. Beloo Mehra says:

    For our sanity and peace of mind, we have to do this forgive and forget…but sometimes the old wounds get stirred up and the pain returns. Yet we have to keep trying…Maya Angelou’s words on many topics are so inspiring. I like her a lot 🙂 Good post!

    Beauty Interprets, Expresses, Manifests the Eternal

  8. Prasanna Rao says:

    I’m a Piscean and although forgiving is easy for me, forgetting is not! Its very difficult for me and while I may be still on talking terms with the person, there’s always a guard around me which reminds me the bad incident

  9. meenamenon says:

    Forgive buty never forget……. u wont do the same folly again then!

  10. S(t)ri says:

    Wow!!! My favorite topic written!! By two people today!!!! 😀 😀 I think forgiving and forgetting is the best way for our mental peace!

    Participant|AtoZ Challenge 2014
    Smile, it makes (y)our day!

  11. Though it is easier said than done, these two aspects help you to leave a better life…instead of brooding over the past , we need to move on towards future. But it does need a big soul…

  12. Shalzzz says:

    Love the post and I completely agree.. esp, the last quote, “….but never forget what it has taught you!! ” Thanks for sharing…

  13. sunila says:

    So true and can be a bit hard at times but practise makes perfect even in this and it can become a habit with us. Nice post Shelleymona 🙂
    Also if we have tried to learn the lesson the experience was meant to teach us then we won’t fall prey to a similar hurt from the same person at least again and who knows if we absorb the lessons well enough, we learn to protect ourselves from future hurt too.

  14. Ruby Young says:

    Yes, forgiving is difficult, until we remember we are all in the human family and imperfect. It is a gift to ourselves, actually, when we can forgive and forget. best regards to you, my friend. 🙂

  15. Rajlakshmi says:

    Forgiving is moving on… it may be tough to forget the pain caused by someone’s mistake but nursing those wounds would only cause further pain. Beautiful post.

  16. Shonae says:

    Brilliant post. Forgiveness is so hard but it only eats at ourselves and tricks us into thinking it’s hurting the other person when we hold grudges..

  17. Thou not so proud about admitting…That’s me! I forgive … but forgetting is so difficult. I know that unless you forget you haven’t forgiven fully…

  18. nicolepyles says:

    I can forgive, although unless it’s a very close loved one, I have trouble forgetting. With my family and loved ones, I can forgive and forget easily, with others, I can forgive, but it’s the forgetting and moving on that hangs me up.

My blog is my window to the world from where I meet the lovely people like you. You have always been my friend, mentor and a guide because there is something special in you.

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